Point Counterpoint: The Debate about Netbooks and Your Image

The following is documented clash between alpha males observed in the wilds of our writers' room. Concerned tech conservationalists who happened to be shadowing the furtive writer herd at the time have provided us with a record of this display in order to increase awareness about the fragility of our tech environment and the perceived masculinity of self-professed geeks.

David
Netbooks are masculine, heterosexual and in no way imply sissiness.

CJ
Have you SEEN a guy taller than 5-feet with a netbook? He might as well be dancing in a pink tutu with Barbara Streisand blaring on his Hello Kitty stereo.



David
How about the modern James Bond look-alike enjoying his martini in the VIP airport lounge between flights? The smooth chassis and small dimensions of the netbook look more like a deadly weapon than a child's toy.

CJ
First: James Bond look-alikes are no longer the paragon of fat-fingered primitives that denote male virility: They shave their legs, chests, arms, and pits. Second: A smooth, silky chassis against a man's leg should be avoided at all costs. That's why men's silk scarves went out of fashion.

David
Give me a break! This neanderthal hybrid of Dolph Lundgren and Schwarzenegger you seem to be envisioning as masculine went out of style long before silk scarves did. And for the more rustic/rugged male - the netbook can easily be transformed from shiny plastic to durable leather. A gears of war Decal, or USMC logo takes the netbook from East Coast metrosexual to hard core street fightin'. This aint yo Hello Kitty notebook good sir.

CJ
What is this? A Matrix netbook? I'm sure the makers of the "rugged leather" skin are working hard on a Trinity skin of shiny pleather, something netbook users will no doubt opt for. And a Gears or military decal? If anything putting those on any piece of property is a desperate cry for help getting out of the closet. It's American Beauty all over again.

David
Customizing netbooks ain't limited to pretty 'lil exterior stickers. What indicates a well-rounded, renaissance man more than the ability to get inside, tinker around a bit, "trick out," if you will, one's toys. A talented guy can turn a slow lil' netbukov into a supercharged performance machine with about 50 bucks and 5 hours of time. I'm talking about double the RAM, faster processors, 3G capability, FM tuners, you name it.

I can't imagine the "man" you're imagining doing much more than "customizing" his Dodge Neon with a plywood spoiler or magic marker flames on the hood.

CJ
A real man rises at 4am, rebuilds the carburetor on his '73 Challenger, has donuts and beer for breakfast, and pours molten lead at the foundry for 12 hours. And seriously, a Neon? Statistics have shown that netbook users are the most likely to own subcompact cars, and they're not even man enough to put pinstriping on without help.

David
This John Henry type makes for a cute image, but come on. His boss makes 400 times his salary, drives faster cars than he's ever seen and doesn't go home to chuckle at Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy.

Times have changed my man! The days of the superhero with an oversized chain gun or bazooka have been supplanted by the ninja, the spy, the pirate even. Vin Diesel wouldn't use a netbook. Know why? because the late-80's action figure couldn't figure out how to turn the thing on.

CJ
A real man makes his own salary. Due to my hardy constitution and masculinity, I make as much as I want - that's what real men do. Our dauntless foundry worker gets all the hot women while his boss sips chardonnay, cries and laughs while watching Golden Girls alone.

Re: ninjas, pirates, Vin Diesel

With the exception of Storm Shadow, ninjas wear all black. Simon Cowell and Dieter from Sprockets wear all black. Case closed. And Pirates, PIRATES, pass for machismo these days? They're more bejewelled and be-scarved than Liberace, Elvis, and every World War I pilot combined. Finally, dolt, any real man would know that THE DIESEL flexed his first manly movie muscle in 1998, followed by Pitch Black on 2000, and the rest is history. Sorry, I'll say "Herstory" from now on just to placate feminine activists like yourself.

Sissypants David
Anyway. to bring your little "Iron John" rant back to netbooks. There's nothing pink or sissy about the Eee PC 1000H. I mean, throw an extra GB of RAM in the there and you can kill Nazi zombies in Return to Castle Wolfenstein.

And while I wont' argue that dudes who play blood elves in WoW are *straight,* Taurens get my respect. And hey. any guy who is smart enough to shave 2 hours off his working day by getting some work done on a superconnective netbook while he commutes. I'm sorry, that's no panty-waist, that's a smart fella.

Maybe even macho dudes like yourself could come around to the netbook -- hook up an external keyboard so your sausage fingers don't mash 4 keys down at once and buy something in black. I'm thinking the Lenovo IdeaPad S10.

CJ
You can pry my 17" Alienware from my cold, dead fingers. Well, if you have the right tools, but you'll have to borrow them from your Dad, you namby-pamby waif.

To form your own opinion about netbooks, check out the Netbook Review site. If you want to escape this philosophical nightmare of a discussion, check out some other blog posts that promise to be far more objective about tech:

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